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A Much Younger Man

How Do You Define Seduction?

August 24, 2020 by Mia Fox Leave a Comment

 

Is it a sexy glance from across the room? Does your heart beat faster with intimate whispers of what is to come? Perhaps knowing that the person you’re interested in shares a common value makes you swoon. Seduction is often thought of as a candlelit dinner, but it can be so much more. How do you define seduction?

Recently, the “Five Love Languages” has gotten a lot of attention. The principle behind this theory makes sense to me. It explains that seduction and falling in love doesn’t follow the exact same process for everyone. Just like we are attracted to different types, apparently we each respond to a different love language.

What Makes You Swoon?

Some people go weak in the knees when a present arrives. Others swoon when someone they are interested in casually touches them. Is attraction more physical or mental? Often times, people admit that attraction comes first because after all, we don’t necessarily know a person. Then, we get to know them and either the attraction grows with the knowledge we acquire about them, or it diminishes and we chalk it up to the person not being our type. What defines a relationship differs from couple to couple.

What is Your Love Language?

Here are the five types of love language:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

The definitions are pretty self-explanatory and straight-forward. Think of what really moves you. Consider how you have ended up with your current or past partner.

If Words of Affirmation is your love language it means you value when your partner listens to you and expresses support. Acts of Service are those little gestures to show they care such as bringing you a Starbucks S’mores Frappucino because they know it’s your favorite drink. (By the way, check out the copycat recipe in the link.)

Some people feel loved when they Receive a Gift. Others want to their partner is willing to spend Quality Time with them. Finally, some people fall for someone when they receive appropriate Physical Touch such as hand holding or a hand placed on the small of their back.

In my book “A Much Younger Man,” my protagonist originally fell for her man when he chased down a perpetrator who stole her purse — an Act of Service. Of course, their relationship developed, went through ups and downs, but came out the other side in book two, “Another Younger Man.”

As a romance writer, I think the idea of the love languages as they relate to seduction is fascinating. I’m curious if one of these five love languages would garner a majority vote.

Consider taking my short (only 4 questions!) survey to receive a chance to win a free copy of “A Much Younger Man.”

How Do You Define Seduction Survey

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Filed Under: Blog, Contests Tagged With: A Much Younger Man, acts of service, Another Younger Man, how do you define seduction, How to seduce, love language, physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts, what is your love language, words of affirmation

How Men Make Love without Falling in Love

April 17, 2020 by Mia Fox Leave a Comment

One of my characters once asked: How do men make love without falling in love?

This was the quandary Kat found herself in when she allowed herself to fall for Cole in my romance novel, “A Much Younger Man.”

Readers, I’d love your insight into this question. Do you think it’s biological? Is the very act of allowing someone within your body akin to bringing them into your heart?

Sexual Response Cycle

If we want to get technical, I cite a fascinating article from Boston University School of Medicine. In this research, female sexuality is said to go through four phases. These are known as the sexual response cycle and consists of: desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution. It’s interesting to note that the resolution phase is both physiologic and psychologic.

Then, I decided to go a little less high-brow in my research and consult with Self Magazine. The 2016 article by Zahra Barnes confirmed that sex doesn’t just affect our bodies, but also our brains.

Our Body and Brain on Sex

The article highlights 19 steps that occur in our bodies…yep, you read that right, 19! Women are incredibly complex and magical creatures. Unlike men, our sexuality isn’t just a matter of: 1. I feel attraction; 2. let’s do it; and 3. thank you very much. Nope. We have 19 body responses, but the one that most interested me involved the release of the oxytocin during love making.

This fact gave credence to my theory that a tiny bit of falling in love occurs every time women make love due in large part to an increase in the production of oxytocin.

Oxytocin… the Feel Good Hormone

Interestingly, oxytocin can have a two-faced effect. For women, it’s often known as the “feel-good hormone” and can make them feel in love. In men, the hormone may serve to strengthen bad memories and can increase fear and anxiety. When I learned about this last tidbit, the “fight or flight” response came to my mind.

Ladies, if you’ve ever witnessed a man scamper faster than a jack rabbit to dress and retrieve clothing while you innocently made a quick trip to the bathroom after the deed, you know what I’m talking about.

Sex is an Emotion in Motion

Where does this lead us? I’m afraid it means we must guard our hearts. It’s fine to act on desire. It’s certainly what makes romance novels so much fun to read. But, as Mae West once said, “Sex is an emotion in motion.” FYI…for those who aren’t familiar with Mae West, she died in 1980 at the age of 87 after a long acting career in which she became known as a sex symbol.

So, be aware of the emotions that occur once you put something into motion. And, if your man ever fails you, grab a good book!

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: A Much Younger Man, does sex affect your emotions, falling in love, Mae West, oxytocin and sex, romance advice, sex symbol

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