Heart Pounding Romance

romance

What Defines Your Relationship?

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Is your relationship with your significant other a spicy enchilada or a sweet lump of sugar? Maybe the answer is both. If the tides change with the moon, what’s to say that we don’t as well? What defines your relationship? Chances are it vacillates and that’s perfectly normal. It’s how you manage expectations, deal with changes, and respect each other that truly defines your relationship. Let’s explore…

Manage Expectations

Dating is not only a time to get to know each other and take part in wonderfully romantic gestures. It’s also a time when we manage expectations, or at least we should. If you expect that your partner is going to spend every weekend going out to events, dinners, movies, etc. and you’re both on the same page with this, then your lifestyle is defined. But, if one person believes that the weekend is for lounging at home and the other wants to hit the clubs, then disagreements can arise. The good news is that this is why we take time to date. Psst… it’s also why you need more than just sexual chemistry. That’s fun, but if that’s all you have in common, your relationship won’t stand the test of time.

Deal with Changes

There’s a great quote from Paolo Coelho that says: “A relationship where you can be weird together is your best choice.” To me, this means that you feel comfortable to be yourself — weirdness and all. More importantly, this comfortability means you can weather storms and deal with changes. Change in life is inevitable. Some people handle it better than others. Even more complicated is the fact that we don’t all experience changes at the same time. This means we need to support each other and be patient when one person is experiencing a life changing moment.

Respect Each Other

Relationships aren’t just candlelit dinners for two and rose petals scattered on the duvet cover. They also include disagreements. What relationships should not include are uncertainty, fear, insults, and basically, not fighting fairly. Every relationship includes arguments, but how you get through the argument defines your relationship. Arguments can be useful because they reveal aspects of our personality that allows us to be vulnerable and share.

Perhaps the next time you find yourself in the midst of an argument, take a step back and try to examine what is at the root of the disagreement. Often times, couples don’t see that one person may be feeling inadequate, wishing they could provide something that is just out of reach. The response might be to act defensively or angrily. But when you examine the reason behind undesirable behavior, you may be better equipped to solve the problem, suggest better communication, and move forward happily.

What Defines Your Relationship?

By trying to see each side of the argument, you might find that you avoid the argument. As a writer, I think having an active imagination is an asset to a relationship. When in the midst of an argument, it’s helpful to pretend that you’re hearing the words from an outsider’s perspective. Rather than react, listen. Listen with new ears as if you’re hearing your partner’s words being told to you by a friend. Give that friend advice. And remember, you were probably friends before you were lovers. The balance between those two roles makes for a strong relationship.

 

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Ultimate Date Food

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Ultimate Date Food
Ultimate Date Food

There’s a lot to consider when choosing what to eat on a date. You don’t want to appear like you’re spending too much or not enough. You can’t risk bad breath, gas, or spillage. So what’s a girl to do? Don’t worry. Whether you’re going out to eat out or cook at home, I’ve got you covered. This is practical date food advice. I’ll focus on aphrodisiacs in another blog post. For this article, I’ve researched food blogs, dating sites, health sites, and my personal experience to bring you the ultimate date food.

If cooking at home..

Simplicity

You don’t want to spend all day cooking and then you’re faced with tired feet and a mountain of clean-up. Choose a meal that is fairly simple to make. You’ll feel proud of yourself and still have enough energy to engage in “dessert” activities.

Make an Impression

We’ve all heard of making a fashion statement. The same can be said of food. What kind of statement or impression does your meal make? Is it eye-catching? Colorful? Delicious? Fragrant? You want him to say, “You look amazing,” the minute he sees you. The same can be said for your meal.

Restaurant or At-Home Dining

Minty Fresh

Sushi is a popular date night dish, but make sure to enjoy plenty of the raw ginger that they serve. You don’t want fish breath. Similarly, sushi is a good option because it won’t leave you feeling too full afterwards. Who knows what sort of physical activities you might want to try after dinner?

Mess-Proof

Soup, stew, sauce… be careful of these messy choices. Imagine red splatter on your sexy white dress. Even if it doesn’t end up on you, it’s still not a great look when it lands all over your place at the table. It may sound old-fashioned, but when it comes to eating, be a lady.

Final Recommendations

If you want to find a meal that hits all the marks in terms — easy to make without any bad after taste and makes a statement, then check out my blog post for Date Night Mushroom Risotto. It’s the ultimate sexy meal because you can spoon it into each other’s mouths and then retreat to the couch for a cozy evening.

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Paranormal Romance at its Finest for Only 99 Cents!

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Paranormal Romance at its Finest for just 99 cents.
Believe, a paranormal romance, is just 99 cents.

“Believe,” a paranormal romance and the first book in the Chasing Shadow series, is just 99 cents throughout the summer months.

This is a very special book to me. At its core, it’s a love story because that’s what I’m all about. But when you dig deeper, you’ll also find that it’s a tribute to the brave men (and women) who serve our country. At the center of the story is Nate, who survived Afghanistan and returned to his love only to fall victim to a tragic accident.

Nate’s love, Ella, has trouble moving on and then decides she doesn’t want to when she discovers a connection to Nate’s ghost. The inspiration for the story came from one of my favorite movies, “Ghost,” starring Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. By no means is “Believe” a re-telling of that wonderful 1990 film, but it shares the same hope and positive message that our loved ones watch over us once they pass.

My story differs in that Ella’s family members insist she seek professional advice for her mourning. When she meets Ethan, her therapist, a connection forms for Ethan has also experienced loss.

One other piece of trivia revolving around “Believe” is its gorgeous cover. This was a live model shoot in which the fabulously talented PhatPuppy Designs arranged for the model, the setting, the clothing and everything. I couldn’t be more happy with the outcome.

Believe is a ghost story and love triangle wrapped up in one wonderful, 99 cent package. Grab a copy today.

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Malibu Angel – Read for Free

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Malibu Angel, a contemporary/paranormal romance, is now exclusive to Amazon. This means that Kindle Unlimited customers can read it for free. And, not wanting to leave anyone else out of a special deal, I’ve discounted the price to 0.99 for 30 days –until March 19th!

Here’s what readers have said about “Malibu Angel”…

“What can I say. This book had me at the very beginning.”

“Brilliantly spun together is the danger, suspense, and romance.”

“I am absolutely in love with this book and can’t wait for any additional books in this series.”

“Malibu Angel is absolutely delightful.”

“This is a definite must read!”

I plan to expand this series so why not try out the first book, “Malibu Angel” today? Simply click this link to get started.

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Create a Work Free Zone

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candel-light

When you get home do you immediately start the conversation with your partner by rehashing what happened at work? And if so, do you ever wish that your relationships could be more like the ones in the romance novels you read? Maybe it’s time to create a work free zone?

It’s not that you can’t talk about your work, you just need to know when. Let’s face it, work is not sexy. Even if you’re a Victoria’s Secret model, you still have to show up on time, deal with cranky co-workers (probably more than most people!) and be accountable. Talking about work when you first get home is probably the most definitive way to ensure that you don’t have a romantic evening.

But I want to share my day with my partner, you think to yourself.

Okay then. Here are some tips for how to balance romance with rehashing the day’s events:

  • Go in for the hug.

Don’t underestimate the power of non-verbal communication. If you lean on your partner, literally, he’ll sense that you might not have had a particularly stellar day. Your reward will be a warm hug in which you’ll feel loved, rather than stressed after telling about the co-worker who tried to back stab you.

  • Meal plan.

Another decidedly unsexy proposition, but the alternative is far worse. Take time to meal plan by buying ingredients on the weekend and using clever make-ahead recipes. If you want to go so far as to have dessert, try my special brownie recipe, which has an essence of coffee and almonds! The result will be that you come home to the inviting smell of dinner already cooked to perfection in your crock pot rather than having to scramble to put something together when you’re both tired.

  • Make an event out of dinner.

If you’ve followed both of the tips above then you and your partner should be feeling a bit more relaxed by the time you even sit down for dinner. You’ve held each other. You smell the food and it’s sure to be delicious. Pour yourselves a glass of wine. Set the table with nice dishes and candles (maybe get it ready before you leave in the morning). Now it’s time to sit down, relax, and enjoy each other’s company. There’s a fine line between sharing and over-sharing. Take advantage of your pre-planned candlelit dinner.

Put work on the back burner (ahem, after romance ensues). By the time you get around to talking about your work day, chances are you will have had time to put things into perspective and just maybe, you won’t even feel the need to vent.

Looking for more romance and recipe advice? Sign up for my newsletter and you’ll get this as well as quarterly giveaways.

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5 Worst Date Foods

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5 worst date foods

Going out to eat is one of the most common ways to spend a date. It can be a wonderful  entry into a relationship as you linger over witty conversation or it can result in a never again attitude as manners are tested. Avoid these 5 worst date foods to ensure your dinner date results are strictly romantic.

Spaghetti

It might have been cute for Lady and the Tramp, but spaghetti (or any long noodle) oozing with sauce that dares to drip down your chin, onto the white linen tablecloth or even worse, across your shirt, should be avoided on a first date. It’s unlikely that your date will grab the opposite end of the noodle in order to gain a kiss and let’s face it, wouldn’t that be kind of creepy?

Peanut butter

True, a restaurant probably won’t have peanut butter sandwiches on the menu, but there’s always a chance that your first date might be a picnic outing. If so, avoid these. Unless you’re both partaking, the smell is offensive and today, peanut allergies run rampant. Wouldn’t want to put your date into anaphylactic shock before you get a second chance.

Garlic

Do I have to even mention it? Yes, I know garlic is delicious and enhances so many dishes. Giada de Laurentis uses it all the time and let’s face it, she’s adorable. But garlic is not the food of choice for a first date. It’s not just that it causes bad breath, ordering food laden in garlic basically tells your date, “Don’t even think of trying to kiss me goodnight.”

Raw onions

The best friend to garlic, raw onions is also a warning to your date that you want to stay in the friend zone. If you order a burger and tell them to hold the onions, your date will know that you’re thinking of that possible kiss that will come at the end of the evening. Keep the onions and you’re sending a definite message that he’s not worthy of a tasty sacrifice.

Cereal

Take a hint from “Silver Linings Playbook” and never order cereal on a first date. If you’re a guy and you do this your date is forced to order on par with you, which leaves her with such imaginative choices as jello or a cup of soup. If you’re a girl and you do this, your guy is likely to think you enjoy spending endless hours in your pajamas.

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